Here’s another fantastic concept for you to allow you to:
- Improve your understanding of other people.
- Be able to stand back and consider issues dispassionately.
- Appreciate the influence of your verbal and non-verbal behaviour on others, and the influence of their behaviour on you
It has been said that one of the best ways to understand another person‘s point of view is to walk a mile in his or her shoes. Using perceptual positions you mentally review (or preview) a situation from a number of different standpoints in order to enrich your appreciation of what is involved. The idea of multiple perceptual positions in NLP was originally inspired by Gregory Bateson who purported that double (or triple) descriptions are better than one. Bateson said that,
“Wisdom comes from multiple perspectives.”
By deliberately training oneself in moving between perceptual positions one can develop new choice of responses. The founders of NLP also modelled this from Virginia Satir, the renowned family therapist, who at times would guide a client to stand - literally - in everyone’s shoes, until they understood better others position and feelings in the matter and Milton Erickson’s hypnotherapeutic concept of disassociation (3rd position). Triple Descriptions (perceptual positions) were proposed by John Grinder and Judith DeLozier in 1987.
It is worth realising that we all use different perceptual positions in life already and that great flexibility with them can bring us many benefits.
Example: A day when it starts to snow heavily, and doesn’t stop, looks very different from the viewpoint of a pupil, parent, teacher and a visitor at a school. But knowing what to do is almost inevitably harder to solve if the Head teacher only appreciates their own viewpoint, and not those of others involved.
What are the perceptual positions?
1st Position
Seeing the situation through your own eyes. You are primarily aware of your own thoughts and feelings. It enables you to consider your own needs.
2nd Position
Imagine what it is like to be the significant other in the situation. Put yourself in their shoes - as if you are looking back at yourself, seeing, hearing, and feeling as the other person would given their own map of the world. The ability to 2nd position is an essential in order to show empathy and compassion.
3rd Position
Taking a detached viewpoint and looking at the system as a whole with kinaesthetic disassociation. Imagine you are looking at yourself and the other person ‘over there’ – seeing the two of them speaking, gesturing etc. Pay particular attention to non-verbal behaviour such as the body language and the sound of their voices. Then consider, as a result of taking this view, what advice you wish to give ‘yourself’ about how you are handling the situation.
Learning this should really boost your abilities to communication with other people. Try it now with a relationship situation you would like to improve and step through each position (it does work better if you move around when you do it).
Let me know how you get on,
Ben
Tags: NLP, Perceptual Positions
